What a day

SO I just realized that I don't know how to keep my emotions in check I wear them on my sleeve. How sad is that? I'm 29 years old and still crying at the drop of a hat. Oh well... Its funny since I thought I was fine. Anyway here is what went down. I went to practice today just to talk and visit with my teammates. Only as soon as I looked at my team, I broke down and cried. How pitiful right. Not really, if I could only tell you how supportive these ladies have been for me it would amaze you... But I won't go into all of that right now. I'm still tripping over how this day, week and month have been playing out.
On my way to my post op check up today, I got into a car accident. Well I should really say that a woman who wasn't paying attention to where she was going ran right into the back of my brother's car... WTH WE WERE AT A STOP LIGHT. REally, really sad. My doctors were in complete shock and kept thinking I was joking. Sometimes I just laugh since things can only be horrible if you let them right... I just keep thinking there is a blessing somewhere with my name on it... HAS TO BE!!! How much can one person really take... I know I laugh about things that aren't funny but its how I cope...
Last week I had my first surgery to fix my blown out knee, on the same day my family buried my aunt... WHAT a DAY RIGHT?! going into surgery thinking about death... Not a calming situation...
I know this post was a little all over the map, but oh well I will try to organize my thoughts next time I put them to the page...

OR NOT!!!

So I'm sitting here just trying to decide what I should blog about first. Since this is the first time I've done this in a long time I thought I would just write what comes to mind. I think that I just needed to get back into writing some of my thoughts. I was really inspired to write after talking to my brother Oscar. He's one of those good black men who takes care of his wife and kids and just deals with everyday shit like its easy. We were talking and discovered that sometimes you really don't understand your kids. Even the smallest do shit that you just can't understand.
Like my little one who decided that he can do everything on his own at 2 years old... Really? He puts on a pull up but both feet are through the same whole and protest when you decide to help...
Anyway... More about why I started this blog and less changing the topic. I am at a cross road in my life. I am a professional dancer, dance teacher and journalist. But recently I was hurt while dunking. Yes I'm also a acro-dunker... Moving on, this injury has turned my life upside down.. No dancing, no teaching, no dunking ... hell there is no walking at this point. So what am I to do at this point? My family says I have a degree and to fall back on that and just enjoy life... But how do I enjoy life without being able to do the one thing that I love. Dancing.... its been a part of my life for longer than I can even remember... But now I have to just write, at work as a journalist and at home as a mom... So as I deal with all the ups and downs of this struggle I will write and hopefully these words will help some1 else...
By the way... I will not edit myself for this blog. Its the only thing that I have that I don't have to edit... F-this watching my words being afraid of offending some1... This mofo is for me!!!