Reset Day 5: My Personal Mission Statement

I Tisiphani value success. Success as a Christian, success as a mother, success as a daughter, sister, friend and person. I love my family, my friends, and appriciate enjoying quality time with them.

During my time on this earth I want to appreciate what God has created. Nature, art, music, dance and food. I will share this appreciation for God's creation with my son. Making sure he develops his own love and appreciation of the same.

Before I die I want to instill my values into my son. When I leave this world I want him to have all the skills and tools neccessare to be a God loving Christian and successful black man.

I value my opinions, and feelings and will give them voice. I will always be true to myself allowing my authenticity to speak for itself. I will continue to stand up for what is right. I will remember who I am and continue to learn about where I come from and pass the lessons on to my son.

As a journalist and writer I must keep my integrity. Continue to report the facts and educate the public.

As an artist I vow to keep nurturing my gifts, through education and performing. I vow to share my gifts and talents with the youth and anyone else who wants to learn.
I will remember that I have been created by God and He make no mistakes.

God did not give me the spirit of fear... SO I WILL FEAR NOT!

Reset Day 4: Envision Your Values in Action

The rest of my Envision Your Values in Action list....

6) Enjoying Life More
Score: 3
--The reason for the score here is I need to learn to enjoyhow to have fun... without the guilt. With my hours at my main gig being so crappy, when I do go out with friends I end up feeling guilty about it. Feeling as though I should be spending that time with my little one.

7) Finding a creative outlet.
Score: 7
--Okay I am a dancer and a choreographer, so technically I get a high score on this one. But I want to do more things to let my creative juices flow. Something with a bit of a challenge. I would like to learn to use my hands more doing things like making jewelry, knitting or crocheting.

8) Spending time with family & friends
Score: 3
--I want to go out and just enjoy life more with my people. Just to enjoy ourselves. Not be so caught up in work that suddenly we look up and we're at another funeral vowing not to only see each other when someone's life ends.

9) Successful Relationship
Score: 1
--Okay so that's really low, but only because I am single. Do I care about not having a man not really but I do want to get married one day. I have to admit being single is kind of fun. I am enjoying time doing what I want to do, and finding ways to improve myself and my life. So when I do get into a relationship, it will be successful since I continue to strive towards being the best me I can be.

10) Buy a home
Score: 6
--I gave myself a high score because I am already working towards this goal.

Reset Day 4: Envision Your Values in Action

Part 1: Am I currently living out my values?

Rate my Reset 10. Based on how I feel about that particular value in my current life.

Part 2: My values in Action

1) Happily & faithfully serving God

Score: 6

--I feel like my score could be a little lower. I find myself straddling the fence quite often. I go to church and participate in the Mission Circle but I need to do more. Bible study, Sunday School, Christian Education classes. All to help me create a closer relationship to my Lord & Savior.

2) Takis' well being

Score: 7

--I try my hardest to give my baby what he needs and sometimes what he wants. With my current work schedule I can't do some of the basic motherly duties. I need to find a job that will allow me to be home at night. Right now my baby is fine and doing well, I know that my job is taking care of my baby's needs and this is what keeps me going. But what my son really needs is his mommy.

3) Successful in business

Score: 4

--This is going to be a little convuluted. I am successful in the sense that I am working in my choosen field. In a good sized market and making decent money. still my hours have such a negative pull on my feelings about my job that its making me wonder if it is time to switch gears. It seems as though I am stuck in my role and the prospectives for moving up in my current company are few and saved for a certain favored few. (YES I SAID IT) I am tired of working my ass off and doing an exceptional job (because I care about the product I put out) and getting no recognition for it. At this point I MUST move up or MOVE ON. Yes it is just that cut and dry.

4) Financial security

Score: 4

-- I am finally learning to actually save money. Not just for when I want to go on vacation... or splurge on new clothes; I'm saving for a rainy day. I'm saving for Takis' to go to college. I'm saving to just be saving...

5) Living happily & well

Score: 5

--I have a low score... but the bad feeling is actually work related. My life is pretty full, and I love everything I have become involved in. Still I can't enjoy myself the way I want because I am always tired. I get no sleep thanks to my current work schedule. During the day I should be sleeping, but I'm busy living. Spending time with Takis (making up for not being around) or dancing. If I gave up dancing I would honestly just go crazy. I NEED TO DANCE!

6) Enjoy life more

Score: 3

7) Finding more creative outlets

Score: 7

8) Time with family & friends

Score: 3

9)Successful relationship

Score: 1

10) Buy a home

Score: 6

31 Day Reset Day 3 Part 2: Reset 10

From my list of things that are important to me. I had to Choose my top 10 values... That will be known as my reset 10.

RESET Top 10:
1) Happily & Faithfully serving God
2) Takis' well being
3) Being successful in business
4) Financial security
5) Living happily & well
6) Enjoying life more
7) Find more creative outlets
8) Spend more time with family & friends
9) Getting into a successful relationship
10) Buy my first home

31 Day Reset Day 3: Identify Values

What is important to me?
The long list...

Takis and his well being
Takis' happiness
Living happily and well
Creating friendships
Creating more time for family and friends
Better family friendly work hours
Finding a life partner/Husband
Spending more time with Takis
Pampering myself more
Being more creative at home
Buying a home for my family; Takis & myself'
Being successful at work
Teaching others
Becoming a more well rounded Christian
Happily serving God; not straddling the fence
Financial security
Fining more hobbies & sticking with them
Dance more
Play more
Laugh more
Enjoy life more
Smile more
Watch & make Takis LAUGH & SMILE MORE

31 Day Reset Day 2: Life Assessment

Life Assesment: Loves & Hate

Lifestyle:

What do I love?

--I love being involved in several activities.

What do I hate?

--Not being able to say no when I get overwhelmed.

Work:

What do I love?

--The creativity & writing

What do I hate?

--The hours

Education:

What do I love?

--Having my BA in Journalism

What do I hate?

--That I have yet to get my master's Degree

Finances:

What do I love?

--Being able to take care of and support my family on my own.

What do I hate?

--Not being able to splurge and take more vacations

Health:

What do I love?

--Being in shape & keeping up with a healthy diet

What do I hate?

--Smoking (I did quit, but its still a struggle.)

Family:

What do I love?

--Being close to my loved ones

What do I hate?

--The fact that some will try to take advantage of me.

Relationships:

What do I love?

--Feeling connected to someone on a emotional, spiritual and sometimes physical level

What do I hate?

--The dissappointment and pain that

Ms. Independent... And the Preachers who hate on her.

Dear Pastors & Preachers:

Like most women who do it all, I'm proud of the fact that I can do it all by myself without any relevant help from a man. But I keep hearing all these pastors, and preachers telling me to take a step back. "Do it God's way and things will be so much better." To which I usually start tuning out or rolling my eyes. This of course is noticed by said preacher and they begin to tell me all the way I was trying to take the pants away from God's chosen leader. Really GTFOH... Excuse my language Lord. But really. I'm trying to take the pants away from the chosen leader of the family. Oh I need to repent, sit down and take my rightful place as a woman.

First off let me say, I am a single mother... If I don't take care of my son, who will? Understand!!! See I am so tired of these so called spiritual leaders not taking into account the men who are there, then when times get a little hard they bail. Leaving the women/ mothers to carry the burden. Seriously speaking I never said I didn't want a man in my life, being the head of the household... But when the only male in the house is under legal age.... MOM NEEDS TO LEAD THAT HOUSE. Seriously, what is a woman supposed to do, sit back and wait for Superman to swoop down out of the sky and fulfill all our wishes. Maybe one day that will happen, and I will have a husband who will run the house and I can take my rightful role as a helpmate.

Until then I will continue to work and support my son. Continue to claim head of household on my taxes, continue to raise my baby as I see fit. I will not allow some man who is not "putting a ring on it" run a house in which I am truly the head of household. I'm not going to let a man come in my house and try to tell me how to cook, clean, pay the bills, and raise my son while he sits around all day playing xbox, watching tv, or hanging with his brothers/boys. That's not a man, and I honestly don't believe that is what God meant by telling me to be a helpmate. If I am wrong God will make it clear to me. Until he lets me know its time to take a step back... I will continue to push forward.

So for all you preachers telling single women like myself to take a step back and wait on a man: I have a proposal for you how about you take care of us single women, mothers and our children until this man comes around. You can pay the bills. You can buy the groceries. You can pay for basketball, swimming, music lessons and the equipment for all of them. You can make sure school supplies, clothes and shoes are paid for. That way we'll be able to sit around and wait for this superman to show up, don't worry since you're taking care of the household, we'll be able to cook, clean and be pretty all day.


Sincerely,

A Single and Independent Mom

31 Day Reset Day 1: Choose a Mantra

Okay so I was supposed to start this a couple days ago, I started yesterday but didn't post it. So you will be seeing 2 days today.

Step 1: Day1
"Choose a Reset Notebook"
The first thing to do in the 31 day Reset requires me to pick a notebook that will be dedicated to the excercises over the next 31 days. I try to be an avid journalist and write everyday but with a toddler this has become difficult. So I have plenty of them laying around. But this 31 Day Reset is special so I bought a new one... Plus it was pretty. Step one... CHECK

Step 2: On day 1
"Choose a personal mantra"
Now this process was a little more difficult than the first step. It required me to do a lot of thinking. I went back and forth scouring websites, reading my Bible, checking the Concordance for things that related to me. Then I was tired of it and had errands to run. As I'm on my errand I decided to read a magazine (and pretend the loud toddler scooting around the room wasn't related to me) and that's when I found it. My mantra. The magazine was pretty old and not one that I would normally read. It was Home & Style or something similar to it. The top of the page read "need to know/COOL NEW STUFF". So I want to know okay what the hell do these crazy azz strangers think I need to know? Try these on for size... "toning shoes are hot but toning apparel is hotter." "If celery and black licorice were to hook up and have a baby, they might name her fennel." I could bring my sexy back in 4 weeks if I read "The Official Booty Parlor Mojo Makeover" Yeah I was already about to give up on this magazine and go on searching for my mantra in the Bible when I say a picture of Dr. Suess in the corner of the page...

It read"Instant Inspiration"... this had to be interesting right?

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
-Dr. Seuss

WOW!!! There it is, my mantra. It was from Dr. Seuss, yes the childhood author had just summed up what what I had been researching for days. I'm done looking.

By the way...
"This cat wears a hat-and doesn't care what you think about that!"

31 day redo--- Day 1

On day one of the 31 day redo we're supposed to select a "Reset notebook" That was easy as I am an avid writer. I have journals for days, but this one had to be special so yes I bought a new one just because...

We're also supposed to select a personal mantra for today.... Mine comes from Dr. Suess. Yes Dr. Suess, I actually saw it in a magazine and its perfect. I've been keeping it on my coffee table as a reminder of what I want to do....

31 day redo...

About to start this 31 day redo program... Its another one of those self help deals that is supposed to help you jumpstart your life... and find out the changes you need to make in order to get to your happy place... Or something like that. It's from a life coach I found on twitter @thehappyblackwoman. It seems interesting. I've been getting and reading the assignments for the past month, but haven't started it. Not out of non interest but I needed to know what I was committing to before I started the program. So I'm going to get started tomorrow and will blog the whole experience including the assignments. If you're interested feel free to join in. If anything it should be interesting. Hell I did the 30 letters 30 days challenge and yes people got mad at some of the things I wrote. But I say this to you get over it... This blog is about me BOO!!!! So starting tomorrow Feb. 7, 2011.

Never thought you'd be so petty

Its funny how when people are hurt the level they would stoop to in order to return the favor. Its funny that people who claim to be such good, wholesome, God fearing Christians can be the worst offenders. So upset over something a person did hours, days or even years ago... And you can't let it go. So you lay in wait, hoping for the opportunity to just get revenge. But I ask you what good is this doing? How is this going to better your life in the long run? I hope you thought about what was going to happen after all is said and done. Because I can tell you... its not going to be as sweet as you though it would be. Now that you feel things are even, what do you expect to happen? How did you think this was going to play out?

So now you're even, standing the victorious winner in a circle of one... Hope you're happy...