I'm a bitch... So what?

So I've come to the realization that I am not as nice as I would think I am. In other words, "I can be a bitch". Yes I said it, but its not a bad thing in certain situations. Its how I show my bitch that allows me to get away with so much.

I used to have a shirt that I wore a lot when I was in college, it read: "Babe In Total Control of Herself. Get it B.I.T.C.H. it was my favorite shirt. I tended to wear it when I just got fed up with people or situations, which means it got a lot of wear. I think that little saying my sum up the way I behave these days. I am in control of myself and I don't allow others to change my intended path or alter my decisions.

When people are trying to take advantage of me or my kindness my bitchiness tends to rear its ugly head. A lot of the times I will display a very nonchalant attitude. What does that mean? I don't show any emotion into whatever you may be trying to say or do. When I do eventually respond to whatever the situation it will be without thought of you or how you feel. My tact has left the building... What can I say, if you've gotten to that point with me its pretty much a done deal, don't try to push the subject any further.

Less often I turn into the crazy black bitch. This is when I get to screaming, tongue snapping, neck twisting and fingers popping. Honestly this is just a bad look and I don't tend to go this route regularly. But there are a few times where this crazy broad will pop out... or pop off rather. Yes I'm educated, and lady like but we all have our breaking points. I usually go this route if I have just been truly wronged, or if you eff with my child. All caution and civil behavior goes out the window. Honestly if you get to this point with me, I must really be emotionally involved in the situation or the relationship. I will cry at the drop of a hat but for me to be outwardly angry takes a lot. I don't know why but I hate to publicly showcase my anger. I hate being referred to as the crazy black lady/bitch. We get a bad wrap already. Plus the women in my village never really showed when they were angry, they always sucked it up and let things go. Unless it was an unavoidable situation to which they used the nonchalant approach.

When I would fly off the handle in my youth it was always my mother, grandmother or god-mother pulling me back and reminding me I was a lady. Ladies especially one who know God, do not act like that... We are slow to anger. Kill those who wrong you with kindness. Still my dad was not a Godly man, he was in the world and would pop off regularly. So I grew up trying to balance my moms goodness with dad's outbursts of crazy. I will tell you it was a great show though. So I have my extremes.