I'm doing it once again... Jumping feet first into the dating game. Its so different now that I am a mom. I never thought I would be here but low and behold I am. I have to deal with things I once thought were a "non-mf" factor. Time schedules... no more just picking up and running by a cafe for a quick coffee. Everything has to be strategically planned and carefully thought out before I can even attempt to make a move. First to pick a time that will allow me enough time to get off work, primp, find a willing sitter who's hours don't have to be set in stone... and one preferably without a curfew. The whole thing is even more complicated by the fact that I work on the traditional date nights (Friday & Saturday), and have a second job that takes up another 2 nights.
This is comical to me because I find time to hang with friends and family, but some men look at me quite oddly when I say "I can pencil you in for one week from today at 7:30, I will call you the day before to confirm". Maybe its not romantic but I'm a busy gal and things have to be in order otherwise they'll just fall apart.
Then there is the other part of the equation, when do I tell a man that I have a child, and how should it be said... "Hi I'm Tisiphani, a cancer and I come as a ready made family" comes off a bit strong and a little crazy. So when is the proper time? I don't want to be talking wedding plans and say "by the way our ring barer will be my son... I still have to introduce you". I mean there has to be a less awkward way to toss that into conversation on say date 2 maybe 3.
Then there is trying to explain why I have a second job. The real reason is because its my creative outlet and a sort of therapy for me. Some people have yoga or Zumba... I get to glam it up and dance in front of thousands at NBA games. Not too different... okay so maybe it is, but I like it. I don't always want to tell people off the top that I am a professional dancer... First off their mind automatically go in the gutter, I explain I'm not a stripper. Then they get all types of ideas in there head... From thinking I'm going to get them free tickets, all the way to nasty thoughts about how flexible dancers are. (By the way I'm not as flexible as I once was, your girl is getting old.) So this too is a talk I don't look forward to. Plus the first time a guy introduces me as "the dancer I told you about" I usually count him out for a next date.
Then what's up with the constant texting... Have men forgotten how to talk on the phone? I am so sick of the texting conversations that last for the whole day... Why not just pick up the phone and talk to me. I don't want to go back and forth with texts for 6 hours when the whole thing could have been 5 minutes by just talking, seriously. Too much texting and I will say just call me. If you don't and continue texting consider yourself blocked.
Also who pays now a days. Many of my dating girlfriends tell me about how they pick up the tabs on certain dates, just to show they're independant and can pay their own bills. All so a man doesn't think they're desperate or golddigger (whoa did you get a shiver from the word... no me neither). WTF!!! Yeah not me... First few dates I expect a man to be a gentleman. If I asked him out I will be expecting to pay, but I would like for him to offer. I don't really care what it looks like. I like to consider myself a lady and therefore I like to consider my date a gentleman. Is that really too much to ask for? I've been told it is.
I did have an experience where I was just talking to a guy I met we never went out, but he kept talking about gold diggers and women using him for money... So here is how the conversation went...
Guy: Yeah I have a problem with women always expecting me to do things for them... paying bills and stuff. Always want me to buy them stuff. Most women I meet are all about my pockets and how much I make. I'm not working to support these chicks.
Me: Wow... really? That's crazy. What do you do that makes women think you've just got cash for days?
Guy: See you're in my pockets too...
Me: What? Its a normal question you keep talking about women are gold diggers who just want your money... I just want to know what do you do for a living?
Guy: Next you'll be asking How much I make...
Me: Seriously... Just answer the question. What do you do?
Guy: I work at UPS... Loading and unloading. I got benefits and everything.
Me: Oh okay. Well then, you're a baller huh. (Yes I'm a sarcastic ass sometimes)
i just didn't call him anymore... not because he worked at UPS... but because he just kept talking about how he wasn't about to be used anymore. Women were all money grubbers, and I better be ready to spoil him. I was over it. After 2 days of talking on the phone, I called Sprint and said block him.
Ugghhh the fun of trying to get to the first date... LOL
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